Friday, June 6, 2008

LATE... BUT NOT TOO MUCH

Today Vikram Kant was very happy and why shouldn't he be? After all it was 27th of august, his daughter Reema's birthday. He bought a truffle chocolate cake for his daughter who loved it more than anything else on the planet. It was the most expensive cake in the royal bakery which was situated on the road just below the hill on which he lived. Suddenly it started raining heavily and it grew darker everywhere. The evening now looked like the midnight and lovely scenic beauty of the hill station was now converted into horrifying darkness. Vikram opened his umbrella and climbed up the hill to give his daughter the surprise.
His eleven years old daughter relished every bit of the cake and the atmosphere at their home was engrossed with gay and the joy of the occasion. Shamika, reema's mother had already cooked few of reema's favourite dishes. There was music, dance, dishes, laughter, revelry all around. But suddenly reema started breathing heavily.
All the joy of the evening immediately turned into terror. Reema had got another attack of asthma . The situation became worse when Shamika discovered that the medicine in the inhaler had expired. Vikram just ran out of the home to buy a new one from downhill market. It was still raining but this time he didn't bother to take his umbrella. Reema was breathing more heavily now and had started feeling the pain in her chest. Shamika couldn't do anything but wait for her husband to return with the medicine. But being a mother it was hard for her to tolerate her daughter's situation. Every second seemed to be endless now and it was already 15 minutes since vikram had gone out. The pain in Reema's chest was getting more and more excruciating and now she had begun to whine loudly. Time seemed to be endless as already half an hour had passed.
Terrified Shamika Took the expired inhaler and sprayed into reema's mouth. Her patience had reached the culmination. She couldn't see her daughter dying like that. Expired medicine would do atleast something, she thought. Still there were no signs of Vikram. It was still raining and he was no where on the road till shamika could see. Another half an hour passed and Reema was feeling quite better. Now Shamika was getting worried about Vikram because in no way he could take more than 20 minutes to go downhill and return but it was already one hour. She waited for another one hour and herself went downhill to look for vikram. Now reema was feeling alright and had slept. It was still raining as heavily as before. For shamika it was the most terrifying night of her life. Firstly her daughter had faced such a trouble and now there were no signs of her husband.
She reached downhill to see all the shops closed. There was no one out there whom she may have asked. There was silence of the graveyard and there were no human beings around. Shamika was completely perplexed and had no clue at all. So broken from all sorts, she walked into the alley leading her uphill.
She reached home and saw her daughter in a sound sleep. She laid beside her and didn't sleep the whole night waiting for her husband but he didn't return. Next morning She called up her relatives and family friends but still there was no information about vikram anywhere. She reported to police but even they were not able to find him. Days passed, months passed and years passed. Vikram never returned.
Now reema had grown up and was a beautiful young lady. Shamika found a handsome guy for her and Reema got married. Reema was blessed with lovely daughter nearly 2 years after her marriage. since Reema's husband had lost his parents long ago, so he used to stay with Reema in the same house where she had spent her childhood. Everything was going on quite good for them till reema's mother, Shamika fell ill and died. Now Reema lived there with her husband and her lovely daughter who was also asthmatic like her. Years passed by but no problem occurred and everything went very smooth and nice.
One day it was raining heavily and all the three were having their supper when suddenly Reema's daughter got an attack of asthma. Reema then found out that the inhaler had no medicine and they forgot to buy a new one. Reema's husband wore his raincoat and ran towards the door to get a new inhaler. The scene which happened many years ago came to her mind and she cried, "No.... you are going nowhere. I can't afford to lose you."

_____________________________________]

now there are 2 ways to end this story... u take it how u like.
ending 1:

Reema's husband was astonished at her behavior and asked the reason. She was just beginning to explain him when the door opened in a flash and there was some old man on the door. Her daughter got up and shouted,"here comes my grandpa". Reema couldn't believe her eyes, it was her father, Vikram standing on the door with a lot more wrinkles and beard on his face. Every one was stunned. There was silence all around.
"I hope I'm not too late"Said Vikram handing over a brand new inhaler to Reema.



another ending...

saying this, she gives her daughter the expired inhaler, and, feeling better, the girl sleeps soundly.
then, they decide to not repeat the mistake, and, hence, both of them set out together to buy the medicine.
on their way, the husband slips down the alley, and, into an underground dungeon.
there, he finds a brand new inhaler, and, a skeleton.

reema follows him (she too slips), and, is stunned seeing the inhaler, and the skeleton. she is dead frightened.
a skeleton is here=> no way out!!
husband: "don't worry. u climb on my back, and get out!!! dont worry abt me. ur dad dint have someone to help him out. u have me"
after much deliberation, in the interest of their daughter, she climbed out.

suddenly, the husband had a weird feeling, some tingling sensation at his leg.
seeing down, he sees that, due to wind and all, the skeleton has moved to his leg.

he climbs over it, but, cud not reach to the top. he yells for help, for his wife. but, she did not wait for him!! he breathes his last, knowing that both his wife and daughter are safe.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

but with this second ending the title also have to be changed.. anyway.. the 2nd ending was suggested by one of my friends, prasad..

13 comments:

Raghav said...

What does that mean? He was searching for an inhaler all these years? Dont tell me...

vivek pandey said...

hey dear i think you are a little bit confused no doubt this was a good start but u need a lot of improvement.

anu said...

the inital part of the story is more poetic to the ears...the story was good i must say coz it kept me glued untill teh end..however the end it was like an hindi movie...

Nithya said...

The beginning was nice! In fact I was eagerly waiting to know what happens to the father! The end is unbelievable! Try to give it a better end!

dinakar said...

story is realy nice but it wud hav been better if vikram's wife was alive and he gave the reason for his late return..

Vinod R Iyer said...

Keep writing .. Nice narration . But you dont wanan end up like stories in "Dus Kahaniyan". If You know what i mean ..

And the first one was awesome. I hope it was a story too!?

Iceman said...

ROTFL...

had a good laugh buddy...

Thє [SτσIc ™] said...

yaar wat was he dng al these yrs ... hibernating ?? the story has gt no logic ... pathetic .. ur description was gud though ..

Jawash said...

hey guys, i think he actually meant that, reema's dad's ghost comes after all those years with that inhaler..

chennaiblogger said...

You know you are as good as Chetan bhagat is.....boss you have a very good future in this....may GOD bless you with time and energy to carry out your passion......GOD bless you buddy.....

cooldude said...

waiting for ur next post.

Nehal said...

i liked the 1st ending...but vikram shud have given reason for being so late...

Viking said...

Heyy....27th Aug is my Birthday ! :-)

And its quite evident that u too like the first ending....although a bit filmy !!!

The second ending was a bit horrifying and was too much of a fast forward !

Good work !